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  • Writer's pictureJoanne Fiddy

Cultivating Confidence

What defines confidence to you?

What does confidence look, sound, feel like?

What did confidence look like before you (circle where relevant) started the new job, moved countries, became pregnant, became a mother, became a survivor of a Global Pandemic?

What does confidence look like now?

Big milestones in our life can raise and endorse our confidence, and sometimes cause it to wobble.

When you become a mother even your handbag changes. Gone are the days of the tiny clutch or beloved bag, which has now been replaced by an industrial-sized truck, that has the capacity to carry sandpit toys, an assortment of snacks as well as diapers, purse, keys and nowadays a mask.

Perhaps you moved for love or work and are navigating life in a new country and the local lingo. Supermarket shopping or a trip to the doctor requires more planning and preparation as well as being able to access Google Translate offline.

For some saying goodbye to a career they loved or going on maternity leave, can leave women questioning their role in society, as it is common to hang our self worth on our career.

Then there is that little thing called a Global Pandemic, which has shaped our new normal for over a year. Even as we start to ease out of lockdown, it is normal to feel apprehensive and cautious. Simple trips to a cafe that we took for granted, can feel overwhelming.

There are many changes taking place. A lot of pillars that we perhaps validated ourselves on have changed.

It is no wonder our confidence levels fluctuate.

My confidence took a hit about 8 months after I moved to Munich. Around this time, the end of the honeymoon expat phase, I realised I was not gifted with that ease that others possessed of learning languages. After finding my feet, my confidence and self-esteem fell into a deep dark hole when I became a new mum. Sleep-deprived

dazed and confused I constantly questioned myself and missed the reassurance of Boots pharmacy - a place I could easily navigate and read the labels. I once put bum cream on my poor daughter's face, that’s another story!

It’s ok to have confidence wobbles. It makes us human. Learning how to cultivate self-love from the inside, being kind to yourself, helps to strengthen those knocks on the outside. As does learning from these challenges, becoming stronger and laughing at ourselves.

If you are feeling meh today and questioning your abilities, know that you are doing your best, you and your child are here and healthy and that’s all that matters.

No one has all the answers and that is ok.

Be extra kind to yourself, take it slow and notice that self talk backchat. Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend. It really does help. Do a quick tour of your boundaries and dial up the self-love and self-care radio.

Sending love your way.

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