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  • Writer's pictureJoanne Fiddy

This is 40!

Updated: Aug 8

Find out how limiting beliefs are holding you back and how to start thriving.

Are you in your forties and find yourself staring out the window thinking that the best days are behind you?

It could be that you miss the body you had that used to fit perfectly in those jeans, which are now banned in the back of the closet until you lose 8lbs. Facebook beams nostalgic photos from the past and yet you don’t recognise that person laughing so carefree. Or perhaps the weight of your career whilst caring for kids or parents or both is starting to take it's toll on your happiness and wellbeing.

You can’t put your finger on it but somewhere along the journey you have become lost and not quite sure where you have gone. Body Positivity is here yet you don’t feel body positive and just wish you knew how to feel more like you.

As a Certified Body Confidence and Wellbeing Coach with the IBCC (Institute for Body Confidence Coaching) I empower women in their 40s to find their vibe and confidence

As a 40-something, for a while there I was lost too, my vibe was off and I didn’t know who I was anymore. I missed me. A big part of my personal journey was finding myself again in my forties and learning how to cultivate a loving relationship with myself and create a life that I could thrive in.


The physical and emotional changes of being in your 40s.

When you really think about it, being in your forties is a massive transformational time. Yet no one really tells you about it until you are in it.

There is a biological and physical change taking place with the start of the perimenopause and the hormonal rollercoaster that can potentially zap self-worth and confidence.

Mentally, there are milestones of expectations that have or haven’t been met plus a deep reflection as we enter the second phase of our lives.

What is your soundtrack?

Within this there is a golden opportunity to pivot. Now is the time to start the work on releasing and ripping up outdated beliefs on what it means to be in your forties and creating new empowering ones.

Your beliefs can limit your life if you allow them too. I like to think of beliefs as a playlist created from childhood.

Imagine over the past four decades music has changed from cassette player press two buttons to record the top 40 hits, to digital music available on a phone. In order to play your soundtrack the music system needed an upgrade. This is the same with beliefs, they need an update once in a while.

Hello 90's!

Did you see that post that went viral on Twitter that sparked a debate on how 45-year olds looked and were portrated in 1990s movies? Writer/director Jessica Ellis tweeted a screenshot of Steve Martin and Diane Keaton in the classic 1995 comedy Father of the Bride Part II, and wrote: "An unbelievable thing that has changed in 30 years is that in 1995, this was supposed to be what 45 year-olds looked like." which showed Martin with grey thinning hair (which was due to styling at the time, while Keaton sported a cardigan and pearls.

Back then the belief about women above forty was that they were classified as passed their prime, mutton dressed as lamb and a cougar to name a few labels. The menopause which 50% of the population go through, was a hushed experienced and hot flashes were seen as an embarrassment.

Growing up when it comes to body image, being skinny and young in the 1990’s and early 00’s was in fashion and blazoned across advertising and marketing magazines. Exercise was mostly to lose weight and was not to help your body move or as an aid to nourish mental health. Celebrity Women’s bodies were constantly scrutinised and compared to each other. Oh and while being skinny was celebrated, simultaneously there was a huge marketing campaign on Wonderbra and having big boobs!

Fast forward to now and while body confidence and body positivity is finally arriving, for the Gen X and Millennials, there is a feeling that we missed those vital lessons. It is no wonder growing up with a backdrop of negative beliefs on ageing, weight and food that it can feel uncomfortable being confident in yourself.

It doesn't have to be this way!

Take Back Control.

My wish for you is to reclaim your place and not fade into the background. To gain control of your life and make the next chapter even more exciting than the last.

The forties is the time to take back control.

Start by asking yourself and journaling on these questions.

Where am I going in life?

What story am I creating?

What is my soundtrack, and does it fit with my story?

Now take a step back and look at what you have written. Bring it to life and create a vision board and use this as a road map to finding your confidence, identity, and vibe.

I feel that 40’s is a pivotal point to transform.

Have you ever watched Olympic gymnastics show on TV? You think you are about to reach the finale but then she does this awesome backflip and there is she empowered and strong and all-knowing and stands and listens to the applause. It is then that you realise that she is only have way through and there is an entire performance about to begin that is just as outstanding as before.

This to me is being in your forties!

I am delighted to announce that Rise and Vibe your 40s launches in the Autumn. This is a three-month 121 coaching with me online. If you would like to be added to the newsletter for more information you can email me here

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